Wednesday, 31 December 2014

A look at some of the year's Art and Literary events in Nigeria in 2014

The Nigerian literary community is evolving. Gone are the days when Africans expressed storytelling and poetry through narrative epics and praise poems to only traditional rulers and prominent citizens in the society.

African writers are now showcasing their literary skills by telling the story of Africa's liberation, independence and love. African journalists and writers, are now connected to limitless information and stories across Africa and beyond through social media just like their international counterparts.

In other to make the Nigerian literary society more credible to its audience, literary experts, authors and organisations have initiated, book fairs, workshops and awards to celebrate and promote the brilliant literary minds making the continent proud.

Below is a look at some milestones of literary and art events in Nigeria in 2014.

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

Saro 2 the colourful musical rendition thrilled Lagosians

A musical play is said to be a performed drama where songs and dances are fully integrated into a well-made story with the aim to evoke genuine emotions, entertainment and laughter. This and more was witnessed by thousands of Lagosians this December as they trooped out to see the highly anticipated Saro the Musical 2 organised by Terra Kulture at the Muson centre.

The much talked about musical was described as such a spectacular work of art that no one will forget in a hurry. From the highly spirited cast to the colorful costumes and lighting it was definitely an operatic production.

Monday, 29 December 2014

Rekiya’s Tale – Episode 8

Human beings are the most unpredictable entities on the planet. You think you know someone, and then voila, they do something and you say; who the hell is that? You think you have things well planned out and then you are blown out of the water.

I woke up the next morning bright and sparkly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was Friday or the way the plan was shaping up. But anyhow, I was up before Fafa for the first time since she got to my house.

“I’ll be seeing lover boy again today, the love is shacking him and I don’t have a mighty lot to do today anyway,” Fafa told me over breakfast.

“Okay, that gets me half day. Weekend begins early for me then,” I said with a wink.

“Ode, I will tell for you” she responded in mock seriousness.

Just then, a text message came into my phone. It was Ochuko.

“Oga has sent me his flight details o. Maybe I should be the good girlfriend and escort him to the airport?” I said, handing the phone over to her.

“Noooooooooooooooo,” Fafa responded. “Hell no!”

“Okay, okay, okay, I was just kidding. He leaves at 7:45.” I told her.

“I can read, madam,” she said, rolling her eyes.

We chitchatted for a couple of minutes more and then I was out of the house.

Work was so much I didn’t get to get up from my desk or even go and greet lover boy when he waltzed in walking on the moon. I only noticed him when he was on his way out when Duke and Somto’s giggling got me to look up. Dude looked like a junkie going to get his fix. A dapper fine looking junkie though. I pinged Fafa to let her know that Mr. oga was on his way.

“See you, Miss Reporter. I’ve been following all his movements all day with constant updates on BB from him,” she responded.

I laughed and got up from my desk to go and have lunch. I was halfway to the lunchroom when the pain came again. It was so sharp this time it trumped even the first time the pain came. And it wasn’t short like the ones from the previous day. I fell on the floor with a thud. It felt like my insides were on fire. I screamed for Duke and he came scampering down.

“I gripped the railing of the short flight of stairs that descended into the lunchroom and dragged myself into a sitting position, breathing heavily.

“Get my driver and take me to the car through the back,” I said through clenched teeth. Unlike before, the pain was coming at almost regular intervals now.

Somto was right behind him but I waved her away furiously. To me, it looked like she was gloating and I would not give her the chance.

Duke returned quickly and helped me up. He practically drag-carried me to the car and wanted to come in with me but I firmly told him not to.

“And Duke, tell Somto I said if I hear a word of this amongst the office people, both of you will be looking for another job, I’ll make sure of that.”

When he was gone, I asked the driver to go to Dr. Phillips.

My dad had already told him I was pregnant and that daddy wanted it out so he assumed that was what I came to discuss but I assured him I intended to keep my baby. When I described what I was experiencing, he ran some tests and placed me on a bed rest for the day. He then asked if I could think of anything that could be responsible and the niggling guilt in my mind came out. I told him about the drinks I had with Fafa that night and how we had passed out. He scolded me and then quickly gave me some pills that would make me sleep well and also help with the pain and then left me alone in the room.

The day rolled by for a bit before the drugs began to take effect and sleep took over. I hadn’t been able to ping ping because Dr. Phillips had taken away my phones. That’s the thing about doctors who knew you from when you were little. You can’t do any of your usual madam steez with them at all, you just humble yourself and obey simple instructions. But in reality, it was a welcome period of disconnection. I slept like a baby.

It was almost 8:30 before I woke up. Ten minutes later, the doctor came in.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked.

I truly didn’t feel better, but I didn’t want to be detained overnight in the hospital, so I smiled my best smile and said cheerfully

“Much better sir. I guess it was all just stress.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said. He paused for a little while and then sat on the bed with me

He began to fiddle with his stethoscope nervously as he said “Rekiya, there’s no easy way to say this, so I might as well hit you straight with it. I’m sorry, but you lost the baby.”

A darkness settled over me as the words hit home.

“Doctor, how? What? When? What happened?” the questions came pouring out amidst hot tears streaming down my face. It was at that point that I knew I could never have gone through with an abortion. It felt as if a part of me had been wrenched out and I felt barren. But now, fate had played a cruel hand and taken the choice to keep the baby out of my hands.

He just kept saying “I’m sorry Rekiya, I’m so sorry,” as he held a crying me. “It’s the alcohol. It was just too much at a stage that was too early in the pregnancy. I’m real sorry.”

I felt like I had killed my child with my own stupidity.

After about ten minutes, he straightened up and said “there’s nothing wrong with you physically, and I have no reason to hold you here. But I would rather have you here for the night…”

I shook my head vigorously. “I am not going to stay here!” I shouted. The hospital was depressing me already and I just wanted to escape, curl up in my own bed, not some small hard hospital bed and cry my heart out.

He attempted to say something, then as if he thought the better of it, stood up and straightened himself out.

“I understand. I’ll leave to get ready to go home.” And then he turned and left the room

The TV had been on but muted while I was asleep, but it was still on. My eyes involuntarily took in what was on the screen now. It was tuned in to Channels TV and they had breaking news on the screen. As I read the headline, I felt it rise from my insides before it was released through my lips, a blood curdling, chilling scream.

The doctor came running back into the room

“Rekiya, what is it?” he asked frenetically.

“My phone, bring my phone, give me my phone” I mumbled.

“Rekiya! What is going on here? What is the problem?” he asked even more earnestly.

“GIVE ME MY GODDAMN PHONE!” I shouted. I’m sure I must have looked like a wild animal, with my hair flying around and my eyes probably bloodshot from the tears I had been crying and the emotions raging through my body now.

Without question, he turned around, left the room and returned with my phone. I raced to extract the message Ochuko had sent me earlier in the day.

“Oh my God, Oh my God!” I muttered.

“Rekiya, you will tell me what is going on now!” an exasperated Dr. Phillips hollered.

I just pointed from the TV to my phone and back repeatedly.

He spun around and read what was on TV with an image of a burning plane in the background behind the reporter. On the screen, it said there were no survivors.

“You know someone who was on that plane?” he asked.

“The father of the baby I just lost was on the plane,” I said in a monotone.

“Oh dear!” he exclaimed.

Then the tears came tumbling down. I didn’t know why I was crying. This was the man I wanted to destroy wholeheartedly just hours ago. But I had not, could not even imagine this. Lord, I felt so alone. No shoulder to cry on for the loss of my child. And, I admitted to myself now that I still loved this man. But now he was dead.

The driver took me home from the hospital. On the way home, in spite of myself, I went through my BB messages. Fafa had been sending me live updates of her date with my oga. You know, sometimes, it’s the smallest of things that triggers the realization of the biggest of things. Or maybe it was my state that was making me see things the way I saw them. But a thought crept into my mind on the trip that I tried to shake off repeatedly but had firmly taken root by the time I got home.

When I got home, she was already back and in front of the TV.

“Reks babes, na wa for you o, been trying your number all day, you didn’t pick up, you didn’t even read or respond to your pings.”

I didn’t say anything, and she just rambled on. She went on and on about how well the day had gone and how the date was great and how much of a gentleman my boss was and so on and so on. It was more or less what her messages had contained, and it reaffirmed my thoughts.

When she finished her monologue, she finally asked “so any word from Ochuko?”

I did not respond. It was only then that she really looked at me and saw how disheveled and sickly I looked.

“Oh my God, Reks, what happened?” she was by my side in an instant.

I looked at her with a burning hatred I didn’t believe I could have felt for Fafa in a thousand years and said

“So you killed my baby, killed her daddy and went on to go and start falling in love?”

Thursday, 25 December 2014

A very Merry Christmas from Mya's Thought Literary Blog

We wish you the compliments of the season and thank you for your support in the year 2014. May the Christmas spirit enlighten you. Merry Christmas!!!!

Sunday, 21 December 2014

Looking For Where To Have Fun This December? Here Are Some Event Coming Up In Lagos

Not travelling for Christmas? Well it's ok, here are some activities and events to ensure you have a fun filled holiday.

imageMusic Meets Runway Africa 2014

Start Date: December 23, 2014
End Date: December 23, 2014 
Time: 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm
Location: Eko Hotel & Suites, Lagos
Music Meets Runway is an annual fashion and music show event, which features fashions by the new era of fashion being presented by live performances by popular music acts, including international artists.

All Black Everything (A.B.E.) 5th Anniversary 2014

Start Date: December 25, 2014
End Date: December 26, 2014
Time: 9:00 pm to 5:00 am

Location: Eko View, 14/16 Adetokunbo Ademola Street, Victoria Island, Lagos



The Gods Are Not To Blame

Start Date: December 27, 2014
End Date: December 28, 2014
Time: 3:30 pm to 10:00 pm

The book the gods are not to blame is the dramatic tale of a man Odewale born with a destiny he tried to run away from. The film is a modern cinematic adaptation of the famous Ola Rotimi play.



Footprints Of David Art Festival 2014

Start Date: December 28, 2014
End Date: December 30, 2014
Location: Ilaje Bariga, Lagos, Nigeria




Saro 2 the musical
Saro is the story of four young people in an age-old search for greener pasture, who migrates to Lagos with little else but an abundance of hopes and dreams, where they are duly reoriented by the people and experiences they encounter on their journey of self-realization.
Venue: Shell Hall, Muson Center, Lagos
Show Schedule
23rd - one show - 6pm
24th - two shows - 3pm and 6pm
25th - one show - 6pm
26th - two shows - 3pm and 6pm
27th - two shows - 3pm and 6pm
28th - three shows - 1, 4 and 7pm



Thursday, 18 December 2014

Nigeria 2014 in Search: Heroes, Moments and Tragedies

What newsmakers and trends captured the imagination of Nigeria in 2014?

Searching for information today is easier than it used to be. The internet has reduced the strain of having to get the information needed from a library and its stressful card catalog system.

Google’s annual 14th Annual Year in search is a look at 2014 through the collective eyes of the world on the web, offering a unique perspective on the year's major events and hottest trends based on searches conducted in Nigeria.

As usual, we reflect on the people, places, moments and topics that sent Nigerians searching for answers during the course of the year. Like previous years ,this year’s list highlights some interesting, surprising and correlated trends. For example, in the wake of the kidnap of the 276 female students in the town of Chibok, “Bring back our Girls” became a top search query globally, and in Nigeria, the question “what is mutiny” spiked following the announcement of the sentencing of the 12 Nigerian soldiers in September.

Expectedly, the dreaded Ebola disease which is reported to have resulted in the death of over 7,000 people was the highest trending search term in Nigeria, followed by the 2014 Fifa World Cup and the 7-month long ASUP strike. Other terms on the list are the iPhone 6, renowned preacher Myles Munroe and former Director General of NAFDAC Dora Akunyili.

Entertainment and Showbiz remains a big interest thanks in no small part to vibrant Music & Nollywood industries. Topping the list of most searched Nigerian musician is the self-styled ‘Omo Baba Olowo’, Davido, who also had the most watched music video on YouTube. Coming 2nd and 3rd on that list are Igbo rap sensation Phyno and the 1st lady of Mavin Tiwa Savage.

In the realm of Nollywood celebs, Mercy Johnson-Okojie retained her position as most searched Nollywood personality, while the late award winning filmmaker Amaka Igwe turned out to be the top trending Nollywood personality. Outside of Nollywood, Nigerians were also searching for foreign movies. Topping that list is the fantasy action movie i Frankenstein starring Aaron Eckhart.

In the sports category, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Barcelona take up the top half of the top 10 most searched football clubs, while Stephen Keshi, Ikechukwu Uche and Ejike Uzoenyi topped the list of most searched Nigerian sports personalities of 2014. In a World Cup year, Nigeria’s Super Eagles, the Black Stars of Ghana and host Brazil’s Samba Boys are the most searched of the teams that participated.

Other Nigeria-specific lists include Top 10 most searched cars, Top 10 most searched Mobile Gadgets and Phones, most searched Clothing Brands, most searched Cars, most searched Recipes and most searched “Who is…” and “What is…” questions.

Globally, the #1 trending search is that of late Comedian and Hollywood Icon, Robin Williams, followed by the FIFA World Cup and Ebola.

The “Year-In-Search” lists are Google’s annual look at the billions of searches performed throughout the year. Year-In-Search uses data from multiple sources while filtering out spam and repeat queries, to build more than 1,000 fascinating top-ten lists across pop culture, sports, music, politics, news, and more. Take a moment and walk down memory lane with the Year in Search and check out even more goodies at


Top Trending Searches
World Cup 2014
ASUP Strike
Myles Munroe
Iphone 6
World Cup fixtures
WAEC result 2014
Dora Akunyili

Top Trending Events
CHAN 2014
Michael Schumacher
Missing Plane MH370
ASUP Strike
Abuja Bomb Blast
David Moyes
Myles Munroe
Chibok Girls
World Cup 2014

Top Trending Musicians
Tiwa Savage
Don Jazzy
Ice Prince
Sean Tizzle
Lil Kesh
Burna Boy

Top Trending Nollywood Personalities
Amaka Igwe
Emem Isong
Charles Novia
Uti Nwanchukwu
Omoni Oboli
Joseph Banjamin
Mr. Ibu
Empress Njamah
Bimbo Akinsanya

Top Searched Cloth Brands
Ralph Lauren
Louis Vuitton

Top Trending Nigerian Sports Personalities
Stephen Keshi
Ikechukwu Uche
Ejike Uzoenyi
Musa Yahaya
Umar Zango
Vincent Enyeama
Blessing Okagbare
Daniel Amokachi
Rabiu Ali
Sone Aluko

To see more information about Google’s Year in Search across the globe and watch the annual video, visit 2014.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Disney's New Cinderella movie set to opens in US theaters March 13th, 2015

Over the years, we have seen different versions of the Cinderella movie, from popular musician, Brandy playing a black Cinderella to actress, Elle Daniels in a modern Cinderella Tale to Keke Palmer becoming broadway's first black Cinderella.

Fans and lovers of the Cinderella fairytale will be glad to know that Disney has launched the official trailer for yet another version of the Cinderella story where the preview showed the plot to be exactly how it was written in the original tale.

The international trailer was released with French subtitles and was given the title "Cendrillon," Cinderella's French name.

The movie features Lily James as Cinderella and Helena Bonham-Carter as the fairy godmother. Cate Blanchett also joined the cast as Lady Tremaine, the wicked stepmother.

"Cinderella" will hit the big screens in the United States on March 13, 2015. See below Disney's official international trailer.

Video credit: Walt Disney Studios Belgique

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Hollyword actor, David Oyelowo set to co-star with Lupita Nyong'o in the movie adaptation of Chimamanda's Americanah

When news that Lupita Nyong’o had gotten the film rights for Chimamanda's Americanah to be adapted as a movie broke, a lot of book lovers including myself, were excited.

Considering that Chimamanda's last book that was adopted into a movie was such a huge success. Fans of the author are more excited about the cast of the upcoming movie.

David Oyelowo, British actor of Nigerian descent was just included to the cast of the movie. Having already secured a Golden Globe nomination for his work in “Selma, David is popularly known for his supporting roles in movies such as Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Middle of Nowhere, Lincoln, and garnered praise for portraying Louis Gaines in The Butler.
David Oyelowo & Lupita Nyong'o - 01

Based on Chimamanda novel, the story follows a pair of young Nigerian immigrants who face a lifetime of struggle while their relationship endures. The novel centres on two young Nigerians, Ifemelu and Obinze, who are separated after falling in love, David is likely to be casted as Obinze, though his role in Americanah is yet to be known.

The project is said to be produced by Brad Pitt through his Plan B production banner along with Nyong’o and Andrea Calderwood. Plan B produced “Selma,” David is said to be trilled to be working with Plan B again after having such a good experience working with them while filming “Selma”.
Photo Credit: Getty Images

Monday, 15 December 2014

Does the X in Xmas literally means Christ? Here's the history behind it

Article by Brandon Ambrosino on Yahoo news

You've probably heard the phrase "Keep Christ in Christmas," either on a church sign, or a Facebook wall. You might have even heard it this month. The idea is always the same: let's not rub out the religious roots of this holiday by saying "Xmas," instead of Christmas.

This might seem like a strange battle to wage, but there are people who really, earnestly believe this is deeply important. For instance, Franklin Graham, son of Billy, put it like this:
"For us as Christians, [Christmas] is one of the most holy of the holidays, the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And for people to take Christ out of Christmas. They're happy to say merry Xmas. Let's just take Jesus out. And really, I think, a war against the name of Jesus Christ".
This is of a piece with those who fret that saying "happy holidays" is somehow scrubbing the season's religious ties away. But those who make this argument are barking up the wrong tree, because, you see, the X in "Xmas" literally means Jesus. Allow us to explain.

How can the letter "X" stand for "Christ"?

In Greek, the language of the New Testament, the word Christos (Christ) begins with the letter "X," or chi. Here's what it looks like:

So how did that word get abbreviated?

In the early fourth century, Constantine the Great, Roman Emperor from 306-337, popularized this shorthand for Christ. According to legend, on the eve of his great battle against Maxentius, Constantine had a vision that led him to create a military banner emblazoned with the first two letters of Christ on it: chi and rho.

These two letters, then, became a sort of shorthand for Jesus Christ.

When did the Greek letter start to be used in the word "Christmas?"

Most scholars agree that the first appearance of this abbreviation for Christmas dates to 1021, "when an Anglo-Saxon scribe saved himself space by writing XPmas," reported First Things. Parchment paper was quite expensive, so any techniques for saving space were welcome. The abbreviation stuck and eventually was shortened to Xmas.
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge used it in a letter, dated December 31, 1801, for instance: "On Xmas day I breakfasted with Davy." The verb "xmassing" was also used in the magazine Punch in 1884, according to The Guardian.

Are there any other Christian examples of this?

There's an ancient acronym many of us are familiar with, even if we don't realize it. Have a look:


It's pronounced Ich-thus, and it's the Greek word for fish. You may know it better as the so-called "Jesus fish" of bumper sticker fame. Early Christians used it as an abbreviated form of one of their creeds: "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior."
These shorthands happen in seminaries all the time. As they do with Christ, seminarians write a similar shorthand for the Greek word God, which is θεός (theos). When abbreviating the word, they'll just jot down the first letter, θ (theta).

So how did Xmas become so hated?

Good question. The answer may have something to do with the culture wars, the historical tension between the left and the Christian right.
Think about Franklin Graham's quote above. For him, and to many who share his particular religious leanings, Xmas is symbolic of a bigger problem with our culture: not only are we crossing out Christ in the word, they say, but we're tossing him out of the public square. Therefore, Xmas, as Graham said, "is a war against the name of Jesus Christ."
Graham and those who think similarly (like actor Kirk Cameron and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin) believe the secularization of American culture is so all pervasive that even if they're aware of the religious roots of Xmas, they still believe it is symbolic of a larger trend. Thus, it has to go.

Is there any good reason why Christians might hate "Xmas?"

Certainly, Christians have a right to feel however they wish, and if they think that Christianity is being driven from the public square, there's really no arguing they're wrong. In fact, polls show that organized religion in America has been declining.
Writing at First Things, Matthew Schmitz, who is well aware of the historical roots of Xmas, discusses another reason some Christians might be wary of the shorthand:
The cultural, religious, communal traditions we see as especially embodied by Christmas have been undermined by the rise of commerce and cult of efficiency. The desire to get from point A to B by the shortest possible route, irrespective of the charms of traditional byways, fuels our mania for abbreviation. The hatred for Xmas, then, may stem in part from an innate suspicion of the attempt to render all things ancient and beautiful modern, cheap, and sleek.

Why does this matter?

First, the US remains divided over several traditional culture war issues, most prominently abortion. The battle over Xmas, though it might seem trivial, only reinforces the "secular vs. Christian America" narrative that fuels those arguments.
Second, the fight over the word Xmas underscores some American Christians' real fear of persecution. It might seem ridiculous that members of the nation's dominant religion would feel persecuted, and it's easy to laugh about those who claim the statement "happy holidays" means de facto persecution. But try looking at it from their point-of-view.
The United States has gone from a nation where the default religion was assumed to be Christianity, to one that increasingly tries to make room for people of all faiths and belief systems. That can seem like a gradual, inevitable evolution to those not embroiled in the culture wars, but it can feel like a massive sea change to those who are. These changes are fast, and they are real, and those concerned about them shouldn't just be dismissed or mocked.
In fact, dismissing concerns about the changing religious landscape is bad for all of us in the long run, as Susan Brooks Thistelthwaite wrote for FaithStreet about religious pluralism in America. "A conflict that cannot be named cannot be mediated. In other words," she continues;
"the more religiously pluralistic we become, the more visible our struggle becomes with these issues. It is only when we take the risk of actually looking at our religious stresses and strains that we can begin to act to know them, engage them, and hopefully move them in a more positive direction".
While it might be funny to joke about overblown fears about the so-called War On Christmas, it's probably more helpful to try to understand the roots of those concerns, then address those in a thoughtful manner. Harvard University's Pluralism Project offers some great ideas about the shape these talks could take.

So what if somebody tells me we need to keep the Christ in Christmas?

You could suggest that the word "Christmas" is itself already a shorthand for "Christ's mass." Or, as discussed, point out what the X really stands for.
Or, you could be even cheekier about it, and talk about how the original war on Christmas was actually waged by conservative American Christians. Wary of the pagan roots of the festivities, the Puritans wanted to keep Christmas out of their no-nonsense Christianity.
Or, finally, you could take a page from the man whose name is in the holiday, by realizing this is, ultimately, a pretty big fight over a single letter. Sometimes, turning the other cheek is pretty painless.

Renowned Literary critic, Ikhide Ikheloa advises Nigerians to shun Obasanjo’s Memoir

US based Nigerian literary critic, Ikhide Ikheloa has a lot to say following the launch of former Nigerian president, Olusegun Obasanjo's memoir titled 'My watch'. See below the comment he left on his Facebook page,  urging Nigerians to boycotted the book.
"Mr. Olusegun Obasanjo has a memoir out. It is NOT called, My Loot: How I pillaged and raped Nigeria, stole everything and left the carcass for buffoons".
"It is interesting that there was a book launch even when the courts had ordered otherwise. As usual Obasanjo the Horrible, with the collusion of his publishers, is above the law. This is not the change that we seek".
"I will not be buying this self-serving memoir; the sordid truths of how Obasanjo squandered Nigeria's promise and trashed his personal life are on the Internet. Google is your memoir. If you love Nigeria, do not buy the book. Because if you do, you will be lining the pockets of Obasanjo, Enemy of Modern Nigeria".
"It is my ernest hope that the book bombs in sales, that the hooliganism that this awful man visited on Nigeria is visited on the book, by pirates who will sell the pirated copies for pennies and pocket all the change. Not that he needs the money; I am sure that at the "book launch", semi-illiterates sprayed millions of Naira on the alleged memoir".
"I will not be reading the book; there is nothing Obasanjo will tell me that is either new or the truth. I urge you to boycott the book. But that is a silly wish; you are a Nigerian intellectual, you will buy the book, beg for an autograph and take a selfie with the man that has ruined your children's present and future. You deserve the book, Obasanjo, and your fate. Nonsense".

Rekiya’s Tale – Episode 7

It’s amazing how a certain thing feels like the most important thing in the world. You are pursuing this something with all you have. You eat it, sleep it, dream it and scheme it. Every step you take is geared towards this something. And then another something happens. And in that moment, the first something loses all its importance and the new something takes over your life.

Before I felt that pain, all I could think of was my scheme with Fafa. But in that moment, the baby reminded me that it was alive and kicking in my tummy. I waited for that pain to come again, but it didn’t. if I hadn’t been the one that felt it, I would have even began to feel like I had imagined it all.

Fafa had asked in alarm as I yelped “Reks what is it? What’s happening to you?”

“it’s nothing, really. Just the baby,” I had responded, downplaying things. I didn’t want her worrying and fussing about me. Being pregnant doesn’t make one an invalid, contrary to popular male and never been pregnant female belief. I directed the conversation back to where it was meant be. The questions she was meant to ask were meant to lead to talk about the Niger Delta and oil bunkering operations going on there.

“that’s not a problem. We just need him to think you know some of the top militants, that’s all.” I said.

“it’s okay, I can swing that easily.” She responded. It was true. Men around Fafa just wanted to hear her talk and they would believe she had the president’s direct number if she wanted them to believe that.

“How far with the online thing? Have you started?” she asked.

“Been busy with these files all morning. Would get to that now,” I responded.

“Okay, no problem. My guy is working on the photo and the other thing. I’ll pick it up once I’m done with this date and bring em home,” she said.

“No yawa, cash ya laira!” I said and hung up.

By online thingy, here’s what she meant. Fafa is the one that loves all the twitter, facebook and instagram things. She tells me she has met some of the most interesting people in all those places, but as for me, I’d rather see people physically before deciding whether I wanted to be their friend or even have continuous conversations with them. But today, she had asked me to select as many of the old pictures I had taken together with Ochuko. The pictures had to be different occasions and places. i didn’t have Instagram so I had Duke open an account for me.

Then I set about uploading all the photos on Facebook and Instagram, with all sorts of romantic captions. In all, I uploaded seventy on FB, but because I got tired of the Instagram thingy, I put only thirty.

“Duke, can you get your friends to like my Instagram photos?” I asked. It was more of an instruction than a request though. He gave me a look that said “see how the thing is shacking this one” and then said “sure ma.” I didn’t bother with the Facebook pictures. It didn’t look out of place because even the few pictures that were there before didn’t have any comments.

After that, I dug into the work I was actually paid to do.

The pain came again on the drive home. This time though it was less intense. “it’s probably normal, and anyway it’s already subsiding sef. I’m sure I’ll sleep it out,” I said to myself.

I got home before Fafa and impatiently sat in front of the TV. I was trying hard to concentrate on the documentary on Nat Geo Wild, but who was I kidding? And that foolish Farida wasn’t picking her calls.

She came in at about eleven. I had dozed off on the couch but she had let herself in and shook me until I woke up.

“Madam, I would have woken up if you just called my name,” I said in annoyance.

“who took this one’s bread, abi is that how you welcome someone who has been working her ass off for you home? Come on, at least use me as target practice for how you’ll welcome your husband home.”

“You know you’re very annoying abi?” I said.

“But of course. Annoying you is my hobby. How else would we prove to the world that you are not a robot?”


“For you baby, for you. And this witch has produced it.” She waved an envelope in the air. I tried to snatch it from her but she was too quick.

“Didn’t your mummy teach you not to grab? Say please.” She said, sticking her tongue out.

“Farida Azare, if you don’t hand that thing over now, I will… Oya please,” I said.

She shinned her teeth and then gave it to me.

From it, I extracted the biggest of the contents. It was a wedding certificate from the Ikoyi Registry for my wedding to Ochuko.

“She brought out a similar certificate from her bag and I put the two side by side. “if I didn’t know that this was a forgery, there’s absolutely no way I could have known.” I exclaimed.

“You don’t know those Oluwole boys. They can bring out anything once you give them a sample. And it’s a picture of the certificate we need anyway, so it will do just fine.”

Then I emptied the other contents of the envelope onto the couch. I could not believe my eyes.

“how in the world did you get this done, Fafa? Na to begin fear you o,” I said, eyes wide with disbelief. I was holding in my hands a picture of Ochuko and I on our wedding day.

“My dear innocent and offline Rekiya,” Fafa said, patting my head “you will be surprised at what people can make happen with all sorts of computer paparazzi these days. Again, under close scrutiny, this will fail, but since we’re taking a picture of this hardcopy, it will be hard to tell that it’s a fake.”

With that, she took the photos and certificate from me and set them carefully on the dining table. She took a picture of each and then settled into the couch to chat with her group member who had given her Ochuko’s London gist.

“Babe, I have gist for you o. Your friend and someone I know have entered Ochuko’s one chance,” she began the chat. It took like ten minutes for the message to deliver and in that time we assumed every acrobatic position under the sun searching for network. Thankfully, it seemed her friend was holding her BB. She read the message immediately and responded.

“who be Ochuko o?” she asked. She had apparently forgotten their former conversation and since she knew him under another name, it had not clicked.

Farida quickly sent him the same picture she had posted in their BB group the previous time and the lady said

“ah, the nonsense guy. What atrocity has he committed again?”

Fafa: Shebi you said he is married to your friend with kids?

Salz: Yeah, against sensible advice she allowed him use her get his papers.

Fafa: I don’t know what all these babes are thinking o. He married the babe I told you about o, here in Naija.

Salz: it’s a lie. You have got to be kidding me.

Fafa: No joke o. they are Mr. and Mrs. Now. And I have proof.

Fafa sent her the picture of the marriage certificate.

Salz: *bbsurprisedsmiley* Serious matter. This guy will never change. And I warned this girl, she will not listen. See the mess she’s gotten herself into now.

Fafa: Wait, I have one of those wait and get party venue pictures here, let me snap and send to you.

Salz: Oya, I’m *bbwaitingsmiley*

Fafa waited for the appropriate time it should take to snap a photo and then sent it to her.

Salz: Oh Ehm Geeee. It is true. It is effing true.

Fafa: Which one is it is true now? Will I now be giving you fake gist ni? Oya search for Rekiya Reks on Facebook or IamReks on Instagram.

Salz: Haba, it’s not like that now, I was just very shocked ni. This dude is just heartless men.

Fafa: He is, but it’s our friends who are gullible jor. Didn’t you warn your friend? Didn’t I warn this one too? But she still went to go and marry.

Salz: Na true sha.

Fafa: Yes o. that’s why me I don’t leave eye down for any guy. Abeg it’s not worth it. Anyway, I’m out sha, I just said I should nack you tory, as e dey hot ni

Salz: No probs. Take kia.

Within ten minutes of the chat, I got a new follow on twitter from a @sexysally. Then a friend request came in on Facebook from Sally Oyinbra Woko. Finally, a Sally Woko became part of my Instagram crowd. We enlarged the twitter handle’s AVI and Fafa confirmed it was her Salz.

“Kai, people and aproko sha. See the speed she came to check out these social media things. And she was forming “haba” on BB o”

We both laughed, waited for like ten minutes before accepting her friend requests. I imagined her saving the pictures on her BB and screengrabbing the instagram ones before calling her friend up, armed with “facts” to show her what her hubby was doing in Naija.

“There’s one more thing I’ve done” Fafa said and then called someone “oya, tell them to post the story now,” she said.

I looked at her wondering what she was thinking. Minutes later, she brought her iPad and handed it over to me. She handed over her Note 2 to me too. On the iPad, Linda Ikeji’s blog was open. The story “Very Bad Sharp Nigger”. It had the picture of Ochuko and wife in UK and Ochuko and I in front of the Ikoyi registry.

“You are mad Fafa, this is too much now. It could backfire you know?”

“Do you really want to get this guy?” she asked earnestly.

I nodded.

“Then let’s go the whole nine yards.”

I sighed. I guess I really didn’t have a choice. “you haven’t told me about your date o,” I said.

“Ahh, that one. I have him. And while we were at it, you remember that my friend in Port Harcourt I’m always saying changes his number like anything?”

“Yup yup,” I responded.

“Well, the reason he changes it that frequently is because of his business. He’s a bunkerer. Once I mentioned his name, your oga knew him. Seems they need someone just like that for this their deal. I told him I could get the guy. He’s yet to tell me the details, but we’ll get it. He’ll talk soon, the moment I can find what number that bozo uses now and get them to talk once.”

I rubbed my chin “sounds good. I’ll try to find out what I can from Ochuko too,” I said.

“You have to do it right my dear. The easiest way to get a man to talk about such stuff is to pretend its above you and that you really don’t understand what he is saying. So you have to practice appearing un-smart.”

“Yes, aunty,” I said and bowed low.

My phone rang out loud and I grabbed it angrily

“why the hell is this one calling at this time of the night?” It was Ochuko calling and I nearly did not pick it. Fafa pressed the green button and put it on speaker.

“Hey boo,” I said, pretending to be sleepy.

“Sweetheart, how are you? Hope I didn’t wake you up?” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “you know you are the only one allowed to do that,” I managed to say.

“there’s an emergency and I have to fly out to UK tomorrow evening. And unfortunately, I have a string of meetings all day, so we won’t be able to see before I leave.”

“An an, what is this emergency and how long are

“there’s an emergency and I have to fly out to UK tomorrow evening. And unfortunately, I have a string of meetings all day, so we won’t be able to see before I leave.”

“An an, what is this emergency and how long are you gone for o?”

“it’s business stuff dear. A huge deal will fall through if I don’t get there. Should be able to sort it out in a week and I’ll be back. I’ll miss you, okay?”

“I’ll miss you more dear.” I responded.

“Gotta go now, love you,” he said and hung up.

Fafa’s eyes danced as she said “Sisi Salz no dey slack. She has reach the Mrs. already.”

That night, as I lay in bed and tried to sleep, the pain came again, milder than even the second time. It would be gone by morning.