Human beings are the most unpredictable entities on the planet. You think you know someone, and then voila, they do something and you say; who the hell is that? You think you have things well planned out and then you are blown out of the water.
I woke up the next morning bright and sparkly. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was Friday or the way the plan was shaping up. But anyhow, I was up before Fafa for the first time since she got to my house.
“I’ll be seeing lover boy again today, the love is shacking him and I don’t have a mighty lot to do today anyway,” Fafa told me over breakfast.
“Okay, that gets me half day. Weekend begins early for me then,” I said with a wink.
“Ode, I will tell for you” she responded in mock seriousness.
Just then, a text message came into my phone. It was Ochuko.
“Oga has sent me his flight details o. Maybe I should be the good girlfriend and escort him to the airport?” I said, handing the phone over to her.
“Noooooooooooooooo,” Fafa responded. “Hell no!”
“Okay, okay, okay, I was just kidding. He leaves at 7:45.” I told her.
“I can read, madam,” she said, rolling her eyes.
We chitchatted for a couple of minutes more and then I was out of the house.
Work was so much I didn’t get to get up from my desk or even go and greet lover boy when he waltzed in walking on the moon. I only noticed him when he was on his way out when Duke and Somto’s giggling got me to look up. Dude looked like a junkie going to get his fix. A dapper fine looking junkie though. I pinged Fafa to let her know that Mr. oga was on his way.
“See you, Miss Reporter. I’ve been following all his movements all day with constant updates on BB from him,” she responded.
I laughed and got up from my desk to go and have lunch. I was halfway to the lunchroom when the pain came again. It was so sharp this time it trumped even the first time the pain came. And it wasn’t short like the ones from the previous day. I fell on the floor with a thud. It felt like my insides were on fire. I screamed for Duke and he came scampering down.
“I gripped the railing of the short flight of stairs that descended into the lunchroom and dragged myself into a sitting position, breathing heavily.
“Get my driver and take me to the car through the back,” I said through clenched teeth. Unlike before, the pain was coming at almost regular intervals now.
Somto was right behind him but I waved her away furiously. To me, it looked like she was gloating and I would not give her the chance.
Duke returned quickly and helped me up. He practically drag-carried me to the car and wanted to come in with me but I firmly told him not to.
“And Duke, tell Somto I said if I hear a word of this amongst the office people, both of you will be looking for another job, I’ll make sure of that.”
When he was gone, I asked the driver to go to Dr. Phillips.
My dad had already told him I was pregnant and that daddy wanted it out so he assumed that was what I came to discuss but I assured him I intended to keep my baby. When I described what I was experiencing, he ran some tests and placed me on a bed rest for the day. He then asked if I could think of anything that could be responsible and the niggling guilt in my mind came out. I told him about the drinks I had with Fafa that night and how we had passed out. He scolded me and then quickly gave me some pills that would make me sleep well and also help with the pain and then left me alone in the room.
The day rolled by for a bit before the drugs began to take effect and sleep took over. I hadn’t been able to ping ping because Dr. Phillips had taken away my phones. That’s the thing about doctors who knew you from when you were little. You can’t do any of your usual madam steez with them at all, you just humble yourself and obey simple instructions. But in reality, it was a welcome period of disconnection. I slept like a baby.
It was almost 8:30 before I woke up. Ten minutes later, the doctor came in.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked.
I truly didn’t feel better, but I didn’t want to be detained overnight in the hospital, so I smiled my best smile and said cheerfully
“Much better sir. I guess it was all just stress.”
“That’s good to hear,” he said. He paused for a little while and then sat on the bed with me
He began to fiddle with his stethoscope nervously as he said “Rekiya, there’s no easy way to say this, so I might as well hit you straight with it. I’m sorry, but you lost the baby.”
A darkness settled over me as the words hit home.
“Doctor, how? What? When? What happened?” the questions came pouring out amidst hot tears streaming down my face. It was at that point that I knew I could never have gone through with an abortion. It felt as if a part of me had been wrenched out and I felt barren. But now, fate had played a cruel hand and taken the choice to keep the baby out of my hands.
He just kept saying “I’m sorry Rekiya, I’m so sorry,” as he held a crying me. “It’s the alcohol. It was just too much at a stage that was too early in the pregnancy. I’m real sorry.”
I felt like I had killed my child with my own stupidity.
After about ten minutes, he straightened up and said “there’s nothing wrong with you physically, and I have no reason to hold you here. But I would rather have you here for the night…”
I shook my head vigorously. “I am not going to stay here!” I shouted. The hospital was depressing me already and I just wanted to escape, curl up in my own bed, not some small hard hospital bed and cry my heart out.
He attempted to say something, then as if he thought the better of it, stood up and straightened himself out.
“I understand. I’ll leave to get ready to go home.” And then he turned and left the room
The TV had been on but muted while I was asleep, but it was still on. My eyes involuntarily took in what was on the screen now. It was tuned in to Channels TV and they had breaking news on the screen. As I read the headline, I felt it rise from my insides before it was released through my lips, a blood curdling, chilling scream.
The doctor came running back into the room
“Rekiya, what is it?” he asked frenetically.
“My phone, bring my phone, give me my phone” I mumbled.
“Rekiya! What is going on here? What is the problem?” he asked even more earnestly.
“GIVE ME MY GODDAMN PHONE!” I shouted. I’m sure I must have looked like a wild animal, with my hair flying around and my eyes probably bloodshot from the tears I had been crying and the emotions raging through my body now.
Without question, he turned around, left the room and returned with my phone. I raced to extract the message Ochuko had sent me earlier in the day.
“Oh my God, Oh my God!” I muttered.
“Rekiya, you will tell me what is going on now!” an exasperated Dr. Phillips hollered.
I just pointed from the TV to my phone and back repeatedly.
He spun around and read what was on TV with an image of a burning plane in the background behind the reporter. On the screen, it said there were no survivors.
“You know someone who was on that plane?” he asked.
“The father of the baby I just lost was on the plane,” I said in a monotone.
“Oh dear!” he exclaimed.
Then the tears came tumbling down. I didn’t know why I was crying. This was the man I wanted to destroy wholeheartedly just hours ago. But I had not, could not even imagine this. Lord, I felt so alone. No shoulder to cry on for the loss of my child. And, I admitted to myself now that I still loved this man. But now he was dead.
The driver took me home from the hospital. On the way home, in spite of myself, I went through my BB messages. Fafa had been sending me live updates of her date with my oga. You know, sometimes, it’s the smallest of things that triggers the realization of the biggest of things. Or maybe it was my state that was making me see things the way I saw them. But a thought crept into my mind on the trip that I tried to shake off repeatedly but had firmly taken root by the time I got home.
When I got home, she was already back and in front of the TV.
“Reks babes, na wa for you o, been trying your number all day, you didn’t pick up, you didn’t even read or respond to your pings.”
I didn’t say anything, and she just rambled on. She went on and on about how well the day had gone and how the date was great and how much of a gentleman my boss was and so on and so on. It was more or less what her messages had contained, and it reaffirmed my thoughts.
When she finished her monologue, she finally asked “so any word from Ochuko?”
I did not respond. It was only then that she really looked at me and saw how disheveled and sickly I looked.
“Oh my God, Reks, what happened?” she was by my side in an instant.
I looked at her with a burning hatred I didn’t believe I could have felt for Fafa in a thousand years and said
“So you killed my baby, killed her daddy and went on to go and start falling in love?”
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